So...

are you happy now?

yeah, i bet you are.
i'm just that conveniently forgotten part of your long forsaken past.
cheers, brotha'.
i just needed your saving.
but you wouldn't give it. you wouldn't have any of it.
happy living out there.
oh wait, i mean down under there.
i miss you.
i will always miss you.
and you, you will always want to forget me.
i'm glad your life's peachy perfect now.
i must've been the imperfect speck that ruined it all.
so now. you can have it all.
go right on and live.
but i'm tearing apart.
with or without you.
dont give me that nonsense about how you hope you haven't scarred me for life.
like you cared anyway.
you just say your sorries and move on.
always on the move.
i hope someday you'll realise how much this affects other people.
i hope someday you'll hurt because somebody else left you behind the way you left me then maybe...
maybe you'll suddenly remember me.
and hopefully you'll be eternally seared with regret by then.
and i will be nowhere to be found.
i just want you to be guilty.
i just wanted you to want me.
and all you wanted was for me to disappear.
you have that now.
so i guess you must be happy.

Inconsistencies, Inconsistencies

Seems like my ranting's never done.

But oh, you make me sick. So sick. So sick of the inconsistencies. Sick of being down. Of thinking that it was ever worth any of my time. Of the illusions of how sweet things could be. The dissappointments and the ambitions that seem to be nothing more than words. Over and over. And wondering what it was that made me happy in the first place.

I re-read what you said. Remembered for a brief moment how hopeful it had seemed.

Utter nonsense and a freaking waste of time.

Who are you?

I don't know you anymore.

There's this tender part of me that thinks there's always a fix for everything. That no matter how far gone things get, there's always redemption, there's always the possibility of things being mended, made okay again.

This is not okay. It will never be.

Never again.

Stay away.

That's how you chose it. And I guess that's how it should always stay.

Irony

and when the end's in sight, and i look back in wonder.
i will always wonder why it was the way it was.
i will always be left clueless.
and the words will come but never reach your ears.
and the consequences will abound, yet you will never bear them.
you would never share them.
you would never know this.
you.
you.
you.
goodbye.
you.