Typical Typical

There are things you see take place around you at times that you vow to yourself you will not allow to happen when it's in your control. When it's your turn.

Tonight I am reminded of such things. And although I can't say it won't happen when it depends on me to determine how it'll go, I'll try my level best to be considerate and compassionate. To remember what it's like.

Because most times people forget. I admit I do too, but I've been on the receiving end of the pain too many times to allow myself to forget...

When and if it EVER comes around, I hope to NOT:

1. Post up pictures about it on Friendster
2. Publicise it to the whole world that it's happened to me and that I am ever so blessed and that it's so wonderful and everything's pure bliss
3. Ignore everyone else just because I've got guranteed company
4. Fail to shut up about how there's hope for the one lacking, and that 'oh, don't worry your time will come' (as if I can tell what their future's going be like)
   
5. Grin from ear to ear so that even when I don't talk about it everyone can just about guess what it's about
6. Talk non-stop about that one person
7. Turn all mushy and extra nice and soft and suddenly at a state of [faked and temporary] peace with the rest of the world
8. Talk long on the phone when I know the person who happens to be with me knows what it's all about and it'd rub it in unnecessarily to ignore them
9. Forget to look into the here and now, and get caught up in my own true fantasy-reality
10. Mention "my *********" or "my **" or "my ******" in every other sentence
11. Pretend like it's just another ordinary when it's obvious it's not
12. Publish blog posts about it and make long and numerous dedications
13. Spill my happiness onto people for whom no promise of happiness can be made
14. To forget that not everyone is on cloud 9 though I might be
    

Oh my dear dear friends, I am indeed happy for you. It's just I feel like something's not fair somewhere. No one's to blame. It's not like any of you could do anything for me.

And I'm thinking maybe I may never need to check myself on the above list. Because maybe I may never be in that same position as you. Maybe I'll always be there on the outside looking in, and because nobody else feels the lack, the same old typical things will just keep repeating themselves and sticking right up in my face.

And yeah. I wish you well if you are blessed enough to be spared from being on this side of never.